A scene with Patrick Schwarzenegger, Sarah Catherine Hook, and Sam Nivola from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max. A scene with Jason Issacs from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max.

BLOGENTERTAINMENTDRAMA'THE WHITE LOTUS' SEASON 3: WHO IS HAVING THE BEST VACATION?

'The White Lotus' Season 3: Who is Having the Best Vacation?



Although no one is truly having fun (except us viewers), there are varying degrees of malaise in season 3 of ‘The White Lotus.’ Here’s our misery index ahead of the finale.

It’s bon voyage for the cast of The White Lotus season 3 when the finale airs on Sunday, April 6 at 9pm ET on HBO and Max. It has certainly been an eventful trip for all of the visitors of the luxury resort. But like previous seasons, it’s hardly been a vacation. Between the snake bites, snark, and sneaky hookups, the only R&R these guests are getting are Remorse and Robberies.

Still, the difficult circumstances make for interesting stories for the guests, and most importantly, entertaining TV for the rest of us. With that in mind, we thought it would be a fun exercise to explore which characters are having the best and worst trips thus far. Since it’s pretty clear that few if any of them are having a truly relaxing vacation, the context is what we imagine they might say to a co-worker who enthusiastically asks about their trip to Thailand. We’ve broken them out by groups and are listing the names from most to least satisfied with their holiday.

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The Ratliffs

A scene with Jason Issacs, Parker Posey, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Sarah Catherine Hook, and Sam Nivola from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max.

SPOILERS for episodes 1-7 of The White Lotus season 3 follow

Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook)

While it does not appear that Piper is having an especially good time, she dodged a serious bullet by missing out on the Full Moon Party boat. It’s also important to note that until the last episode, she was the only member of the Ratliff clan that even wanted to be in Thailand to begin with. That’s enough to give her the top spot by default.

Victoria (Parker Posey)

Sure, Victoria’s lorazepam was mysteriously stolen (we still cannot believe she hasn’t been able to deduce the culprit) and her daughter tricked the family into this “vacation” as a scouting trip to join a Boooodist cult. But the drinks have been flowing, the family is together, and the opportunities to judge other women for their relationship and lifestyle choices have been plentiful.

Lochlan (Sam Nivola)

Although the incident – incestdent? – with his brother was unfortunate, Lil’ Locky is at least walking a path of self-discovery. Whether or not this leads him to stay in Thailand with his sister remains to be seen, but for a high school senior, we’d say that Lochlan is well ahead of his siblings when it comes to personal growth and discovering what he does (and doesn’t) want.

Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger)

This has been a rough trip for Saxon. He’s been mocked and rejected by the women he likes, he has been involved in one extremely freaky sex act and propositioned for a second, and he suspects “something is up” with his dad. Still, an offramp from his malaise suddenly appeared at the end of the penultimate episode in the form of meditation and spiritual exploration. We hope he puts his eggs in that basket instead of the family business.

Tim (Jason Issacs)

When it comes to miserable people at the White Lotus, no one is having a worse trip than the Ratliff patriarch. When you’re staring down jail time, picking up a pill addiction, AND engaging in multiple fantasies of murdering your wife and kids, you’re in a dark, dark place.

The Fancy Cougars

A scene with Carrie Coon, Leslie Bibb, and Michelle Monaghan from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max.

Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan)

Sure, she’s fighting with her oldest friends and cheated on her hot, younger, famous husband. But we suspect that Jaclyn is so narcissistic that she truly isn’t bothered by her scandalous, selfish behavior. Beyond her romp with Valentin (Arnas Fedaravičius), her lasting memory will likely be the jealous glares of the younger Russian women on the dancefloor.

Kate (Leslie Bibb)

Although she’s too concerned about projecting a perfect life to ever admit it, we can’t help but think that this trip hasn’t been a ton of fun for Kate. Nevertheless, we suspect that she will return home and tell her husband and neighbors that her vacation was a total blast.

Laurie (Carrie Coon)

Ironically, Laurie appears to be having the most fun of the trio, by far. She’s downing rosé like its water, reliving her wild teenage years in the swimming pool, and hooked up with a hot Russian after the Muay Thai fight. But as a lawyer who has the courage to call BS when she sees it, we believe that Laurie can see the big picture and realizes that she can no longer be friends with Jaclyn and Kate, if she ever was to begin with.

Belinda and Zion

A scene with Nicholas Duvernay and Natsha Rothwell from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max.

Zion (Nicholas Duvernay)

Heading into the finale, Zion is the only character that we can definitively assume does not get killed. That is, unless he pulls a Tanya McQuoid, slips on a rock, and cracks open his skull. Given The White Lotus’ history, this does not feel off the table.

Belinda (Natasha Rothwell)

Poor Belinda. She’s spent most of this season fearing for her life. When she finally gets some action, she has to face down an embarrassing moment with her son, then another awkward exchange with Pornchai (Dom Hetrakul), who pitches her on a business enterprise she no longer seems interested in. Even when she’s offered a life-changing amount of money, it puts her in a morally compromised position. Our vote says that she should take it.

Rick and Chelsea

A scene with Aimee Lou Wood and Walton Goggins from season 3 of 'The White Lotus' on HBO and Max.

Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood)

Yes, she’s been bitten by a poisonous snake and was in the jewelry store during an armed robbery. But thanks to her plucky attitude and vast knowledge of astrology, nothing can get Chelsea down, not even a persistently chilly attitude from her “soulmate” Rick. Chelsea is a lot of people’s favorite character in season 3, which leaves us extremely nervous about her fate in the finale.

Rick (Walton Goggins)

Like Saxon, Rick seems to have found some measure of peace in the second-to-last episode. While he didn’t exact revenge on the man who ruined his life, he realized that he didn’t need to. His placid, detached smile amidst the debauchery in Bangkok suggests he’s found the inner peace that has so long eluded him. Which, again, makes him a prime target to die in the final episode.